004- I made myself proud!

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The original idea for this blog came from lessons I've learned about people and life from my experience as a property manager. However, I'm going to start a little differently. I am going to share what I learned about myself during my 5 year cancer journey. (Spoiler alert: I graduated from being an oncology patient today!)

Sitting here in the St. Joseph Hospital waiting room of the Oncology Center. It's surreal to be here now. It's been over five years since I started this journey. During my treatments, I wrote about my experiences on a blog on breast cancer, called "Sarah Squishes BC." For those of you that haven't had a mammogram, the "squishes" part is a shout-out to getting a mammogram. I don't write anything in that blog any more but about once a year I go back and read through the entire thing. I actually don't remember a lot of what happened. Chemo brain? Selective amnesia? Denial? Who knows. One of the reasons that I wrote the blog posts was as a journal for me so I could look back and appreciate what I'd gone through. The other reason that I wrote was to help others that have to go through breast cancer treatment.

Here are three things that I learned about myself....

*Even thought I never thought so before, I'm a pretty tough cookie. Have I been through hard stuff? Yes, but I don't think anything else I've been through encompassed mind, body, and spirit like going through the three parts of cancer treatment. I think that's one reason why selective amnesia is something that our body does for it's own protection. I was able to treat my treatment (chemo, lumpectomy surgery, and radiation) like a "job" or step by step process. Those that know me well know that I am somewhat of a spreadsheet junkie and while I did not make a spreadsheet of my treatments, I did mentally check things off one step at a time.

*I am a fairly private person, but I found, during treatment, that I wanted to share my story. I wanted to help others that would go through treatment in the future. In addition to my blog, I had a Facebook group so I could share my story in another way. I have lost track of how many times I have sent the blog link to someone who has been recently diagnosed. I know when I first found out I had breast cancer, I had so many questions. I am hoping my other blog will help others.

*My naturally curly, red hair is part of my identity. Does that sound vain? Maybe, but honestly when I found out I had cancer the very first thing that entered my mind was that I was going to lose my hair and be bald. I struggled with this so much. However, there was a tool (or hack, if you will) that I didn't know about when I first was diagnosed. I love tools and hacks that make my life better or easier. I used cold caps during chemo. If you don't know what they are, they helped me keep 70-75% of my hair during my treatments. I was proud of myself for how I handled all of my treatments. I will talk more about this later. Make yourself proud!